40

I didn’t think that turning 40 would be a big deal. It’s just a number. I know some people struggle with those milestone kind of birthdays… but I feel like I’ve been turning 50 for most of my life and I’m really just waiting to get there. So 40 was just supposed to be another step in that ladder to there.

It came in quietly. An evening on the patio. Dinner and cake. I did wear my first tiara, though. That was an experience. But over all, it was calm. It was quiet. It came and went without much ado, just as I hoped it would.

In the weeks since, though… I keep wondering how I’m still alive.

The day after my birthday, I was out of town involved in some difficult conversations regarding work and the future. Leaving for an evening with my brother and sister-in-law the change of time, the area of town, and traffic on a really bad highway all collided, and so did I… with the vehicle in front of me.

I’m thankful for adrenaline and it’s ability to keep me going. I’m thankful that I have learned my body to the extent that I could tell normal soreness from injury. I’m thankful to have the resources, support, and patience to address injury instead of just pushing through it.

And for one of the first times in my adult life… I’m thankful to be only 40. Because I do not want to think about what this same situation could feel like ten years from now.

I continued with my plans the next day just more slowly and cautiously than I probably would have otherwise.